Funny event. The Mets obviously home town announcers refer to the pitch as " down and in" (it was a foot behind him, we all know if it was close enough to hit reasonably hit Utley he would have let it, although he has stopped doing that as he got older and was once injured from it).
Utley was also surprised the pitcher was tossed, he was looking down in the dirt.
It was obviously thrown at him, frankly I think Utley knew it was coming by his lack of reaction. Have to toss the pitcher and manager and then just get on with the game.
Utley obviously made them pay, just like you are suppose to. I am a huge Utley fan and this is exactly how you handle this. Don't go crazy, you know it is going to happen, just let it occur and do something to make it clear that you won't just be picked on.